tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3027534132693377698.post8167780253454108243..comments2023-10-29T10:24:23.730-04:00Comments on Things I Can't Say: Pour Your Heart Out: Putting on Our Judge-y PantsShellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06811697675090627618noreply@blogger.comBlogger85125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3027534132693377698.post-51551509815072564552011-07-15T12:47:39.197-04:002011-07-15T12:47:39.197-04:00What a great post. I know that I'm guilty of ...What a great post. I know that I'm guilty of judging on a daily basis...but I try to keep it just in my head. Every situation has a story and it's not my place to decide what is right for others.Reneehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11023363765029452006noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3027534132693377698.post-76481532949088424492011-07-14T16:15:42.165-04:002011-07-14T16:15:42.165-04:00Shell very well put...love this! You are right, we...Shell very well put...love this! You are right, we have a choose on how to act. I always look at everyone with an open mind because like you said you don't know their story.Tina @ Life Without Pinkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10675430628036496317noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3027534132693377698.post-53772396802671146712011-07-14T09:25:43.749-04:002011-07-14T09:25:43.749-04:00Great post Shell! That's so true. Even if we...Great post Shell! That's so true. Even if we think we are too good to judge we judge those who are judging! Or we judge those who are judging us!<br /><br /> I like the idea of taking a judging feeling and deciding what you're going to do with it. There's always a choice I think. Hopefully, I will learn to make more good choices than bad.Grumpy Grateful Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18280877945184331361noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3027534132693377698.post-34858694779892852522011-07-14T03:48:13.205-04:002011-07-14T03:48:13.205-04:00Yep - we have all been there - but that last sente...Yep - we have all been there - but that last sentence tells me exactly what your character is! Great post!Craptastic Mommy - Sh!t in the Bathtubhttp://www.craptasticmommy.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3027534132693377698.post-74792121413638332602011-07-14T02:04:24.626-04:002011-07-14T02:04:24.626-04:00Absolutely! We are ALL guilty of it sometimes no ...Absolutely! We are ALL guilty of it sometimes no matter how hard we try not tooshortmamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18083148312260283511noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3027534132693377698.post-58073203779340165732011-07-13T23:15:59.352-04:002011-07-13T23:15:59.352-04:00Amen, sister! LOVE this post, Shell.Amen, sister! LOVE this post, Shell.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3027534132693377698.post-33710990619492697552011-07-13T21:54:28.568-04:002011-07-13T21:54:28.568-04:00Yes I judge. If someone lies to me, I judge them ...Yes I judge. If someone lies to me, I judge them as untrustworthy. If someone is kind to me, I judge them as a good person. It can go both ways. <br /><br />I was at jury duty once and one of the jurors said she couldn't serve b/c she didn't believe in judging people. Now that I rolled MY eyes at!Rach (DonutsMama)https://www.blogger.com/profile/14029074046922966097noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3027534132693377698.post-58132886739774388262011-07-13T21:10:39.361-04:002011-07-13T21:10:39.361-04:00Love this! I wish I could get to a place where I d...Love this! I wish I could get to a place where I didn't judge, or at least not think that everyone is always judging me.Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17800478532247993047noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3027534132693377698.post-60721606977214187372011-07-13T20:50:57.661-04:002011-07-13T20:50:57.661-04:00Short of child abuse or things that I just do not ...Short of child abuse or things that I just do not agree with in parenting/marriage/family I move on as it doesn't affect me and my day!Babes Mamihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07358199545037517298noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3027534132693377698.post-43312672778865272842011-07-13T20:40:07.186-04:002011-07-13T20:40:07.186-04:00What a perfect post. As I read through the example...What a perfect post. As I read through the examples my heart hurt at the fact that I know I've judged people. <br /><br />My son and I were just talking today about how you shouldn't judge. You never know what you don't know.Adriennehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13528968129655668573noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3027534132693377698.post-61051708615969131902011-07-13T19:47:20.342-04:002011-07-13T19:47:20.342-04:00Sadly, it's human nature to judge, but we can ...Sadly, it's human nature to judge, but we can learn to control it and not act on it or speak it.Liz Mayshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13960276167677132860noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3027534132693377698.post-26052998621083780062011-07-13T19:11:33.016-04:002011-07-13T19:11:33.016-04:00Thank you for the reminder! Great post.Thank you for the reminder! Great post.Cindihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08866867070769756055noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3027534132693377698.post-20451453247329416752011-07-13T18:44:43.018-04:002011-07-13T18:44:43.018-04:00Well said, Mama. Thank you!Well said, Mama. Thank you!Kakunaahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09680945395324128951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3027534132693377698.post-36265962439455690342011-07-13T18:34:35.098-04:002011-07-13T18:34:35.098-04:00So true. I find that once people become parents, ...So true. I find that once people become parents, it's actually EASIER to judge... not right... but easier. Perhaps parenthood is so fraught with self doubt and anxiety that judging other's choices seems like a fast way to make ourselves feel better about ours. Been thinking about this same subject for a long time... thanks for bringing it back to my consciousness.Jenni Chiu @MommyNaniBooboo https://www.blogger.com/profile/03539931317104305201noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3027534132693377698.post-64056229550898449922011-07-13T16:35:28.515-04:002011-07-13T16:35:28.515-04:00Great post Shell! What a great follow up for last ...Great post Shell! What a great follow up for last week's post. <br />I speak for myself, but I'm sure most can agree, that we are guilty of having automatic judgements about others. For myself, I tend to have a judgement about a situation then it's light a fleeting thought. <br /><br />With friends, it carries further because I usually have background information. I know I shouldn't judge their actions but it's hard not to. Especially when I don't even say anything and they feel like explaining themselves. <br /><br />It's human nature and if we watch our tongues, then no harm done. Better to keep our opinions to ourselves.Tiffanyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13493576726012326958noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3027534132693377698.post-37792465988878242142011-07-13T16:06:03.214-04:002011-07-13T16:06:03.214-04:00I agree completely! We should'nt base our fee...I agree completely! We should'nt base our feelings about a person on one glimpse we get of them anyway. We have no idea what goes on, on a daily basis.Cyndy Bushhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12617354883122757511noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3027534132693377698.post-7864288165409537432011-07-13T15:43:59.132-04:002011-07-13T15:43:59.132-04:00I think it's instinctive but I wish it wasn...I think it's instinctive but I wish it wasn't. I always try to think about the situation involved that I may not know about when I jump to judging someone else. I say all the time that we women, mothers, we should be working harder to support each other instead of breaking each other down, but it's hard, so very hard, isn't it?Aunt Crazyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14797824011406383879noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3027534132693377698.post-71717061548715947112011-07-13T15:29:45.296-04:002011-07-13T15:29:45.296-04:00"We can't always help how we feel, but we..."We can't always help how we feel, but we can choose to be respectful in how we express those emotions."<br /><br />You nailed it. I judge, often reflexively. I acknowledge that there might be a story there that I don't know, and I realize it doesn't affect me anyway, but the judgmental thoughts still pass through my mind. Even when it comes to how others parents - something I try to be especially conscientious of. <br /><br />BUT... I don't say those thoughts out loud. And if I do - if I'm asked for my thoughts or opinion - then I phrase them respectfully. Because as a mom, I know how hard this gig is without the weight of judgment to bear. And nobody deserves a heavier load. (Except Casey Anthony.)Kristin @ What She Saidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05059205340350718840noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3027534132693377698.post-59767519738804539432011-07-13T15:15:36.807-04:002011-07-13T15:15:36.807-04:00I think it's so easy to look at someone and th...I think it's so easy to look at someone and think "I would never...". But I try not to get stuck in that mindset, because you never know. Those things that you think you would never, you just might. Like the kids tearing through Target. It looks bad from someone else, but that so easily could be me with 3 kids screaming and climbing up my head.C (Kid Things)https://www.blogger.com/profile/11368089264101791146noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3027534132693377698.post-88499855199489864922011-07-13T14:45:51.883-04:002011-07-13T14:45:51.883-04:00I understand where you are coming from but I think...I understand where you are coming from but I think there are times when judging is acceptable. For example, my neighbor smokes openly in front of her children. I judge her for that. Not because she smokes, but because no one can say they don't know the harm that is causing to that child. She is a nurse and should know better then most. So I judge her. I'm guilty of judging in most of the cases you laid out above and in all of them I try to self reflect and change my behavior because I do not believe it is appropriate. However, with my neighbor, I'm kinda proud of my judgement. I suppose that says more about me then her but either way thanks for posting this, it was thought provoking.Nicolettehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18393086045611199096noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3027534132693377698.post-61600163707614909402011-07-13T14:44:02.654-04:002011-07-13T14:44:02.654-04:00YES! It's all about what we do after that gut ...YES! It's all about what we do after that gut reaction crosses our mind. SO well said! Because we'd all want someone to think twice about us before they judge us, right?<br /><br />I wish I could think of this in-the-moment more often, though.MrsJenBhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10210080304270799102noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3027534132693377698.post-90296633836287077142011-07-13T14:21:17.802-04:002011-07-13T14:21:17.802-04:00I have tried to make a conscious decision that whe...I have tried to make a conscious decision that when I start to judge someone, I try to turn it back to myself and realize that I'm the one in the wrong. I just have to keep reminding myself of that on a daily basis.Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15143572218544904176noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3027534132693377698.post-74120250331334920202011-07-13T14:09:48.505-04:002011-07-13T14:09:48.505-04:00I've gotten really good at silently judging pe...I've gotten really good at silently judging people. It's usually not my place to speak up when I'm being judgy, but I can't help myself from thinking it.Hutchhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05675915108416510294noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3027534132693377698.post-75539018206987872342011-07-13T14:08:56.706-04:002011-07-13T14:08:56.706-04:00Well said! There are so many reasons someone might...Well said! There are so many reasons someone might choose to judge me and they don't. I need to do the same.JDaniel4's Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10354900916937838719noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3027534132693377698.post-22401600157320615592011-07-13T14:08:25.004-04:002011-07-13T14:08:25.004-04:00I have always been a huge judger. But since losing...I have always been a huge judger. But since losing my son I have a greater appreciation for the "hidden story" behind what we see. I think I am much less judgy these days.My New Normalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03482513767849843084noreply@blogger.com